dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
