There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My vagina is very pro this idea
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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