I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
