hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
