i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
