We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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