Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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