You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
