i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize