Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
