so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
