i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
