I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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