He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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