There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
