I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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