I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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