Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
