I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
