The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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