i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Randomize