you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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