we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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