i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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