My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
