Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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