Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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