I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
