I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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