She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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