Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
