Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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