are you still at the devil's house?
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
