You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
