I got chris browned last night
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
My vagina is officially offended.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
