Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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