I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Randomize
