Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
