After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
