'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
