We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
