He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
