He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
