We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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