You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
