i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
