It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Green mimosas i think yes
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
