Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize