We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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