Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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