she woke up with a sticky ear
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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