i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
