Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
