Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
