I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
