look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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