considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
