The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
