Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
