Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
