Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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