her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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