So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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