I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
