I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
