Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
