i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
