he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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