I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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