hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
