2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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