xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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