Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
