I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
